Hanukkah For Beginners

Although Hanukkah (or Chanukah) is considered a minor holiday compared to Yom Kippur and Passover, this celebration of Jewish peoples' victory over their oppressors is actually a rabbinic command and a mitzvah. And its importance is increasing every year, as more and more rabbis reinterpret Hanukkah as a celebration of religious freedom. While most other Jewish holidays are either introspective or limited to family members and temple congregants, the Festival of Lights--with its menorahs glowing in the windows of Jewish homes--is the one celebration on the Jewish calendar in which we announce to the world that we're practicing Jews. For Jewish believers in G-d, it is an advertisement that miracles can exist, especially if we humans take the initiative to become partners with Him in repairing the world. For more agnostic or atheistic Jews, it is a time for family and friends to celebrate our rich heritage and our triumph over our oppressors. Either way, we Jews are lucky that most of us live in countries that allow religious pluaralism and diversity.

So if you're a non-practicing Jew who has been considering taking up some level of observance, why not start with Hanukkah? Or if you're a non-Jew who is either on the cusp of going through a conversion or who wishes to dip her toes in the waters of Jewish observance, you really cannot go wrong with the Festival of Lights as a starting point. It's moving and fun and not nearly as difficult to perfect as the rules of Pesach. Some Jews who grew up secular are afraid to try Jewish rituals that seem hard, and others feel guilty about lighting Hanukkah candles when they do not observe shabbos.

But Judaism is not an all-or-nothing faith. Every mitzvah you perform is a step on a journey. I struggle with keeping kosher, but I do not allow that struggle to guilt me into throwing out the rest of my faith. Maybe you will obtain the kind of spiritual nourishment from observing Hanukkah that will make you want to start taking on more Jewish spiritual practices.

In order to properly celebrate Hanukkah you will need a hanukkiah (Hanukkah menorah) with plenty of candles for all eight nights. It's best to use cotton wicks in olive oil or beeswax. Electric menorahs are fine for decorations, but not for properly observing the mitzvah. (If safety is a concern, such as in a dormitory or apartment building, consult a rabbi about alternative ways of fullfilling the mitzvah.) The shamash is the extra candle used to light the other eight candles. On the first night, you kindle one light on the right side and on the following night you add a second light to the left of the first. Go from the left to the right. The candle needs to burn at least thirty minutes after sundown.

Friday night is shabbos, so it's important to light the Hanukkah candles shortly before you light the regular Friday night shabbbat candles (which are supposed to be lit about 18 minutes before dusk.) On Saturday, light the candles after shabbos. You treat Friday and Saturday differently from the other nights in order to keep the sabbath.

Here is a video example of how you light the candles:

http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/Judaism/2007/11The-Beliefnet-Guide-to-Hanukkah.aspx

If you don't know Hebrew, here are the Hanukkah blessings (phonetically spelled out) courtesy of chabad.org. You recite them after lighting the candles.

1. Blessed are You, L-rd our G-d, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments, and commanded us to kindle the Chanukah light.

1. Ba-ruch A-tah Ado-nai E-lo-he-nu Me-lech Ha-olam A-sher Ki-de-sha-nu Be-mitz-vo-tav Ve-tzi-va-nu Le-had-lik Ner Cha-nu-kah.

2. Blessed are You, L-rd our G-d, King of the universe, who performed miracles for our forefathers in those days, at this time.

2. Ba-ruch A-tah Ado-nai E-lo-hei-nu Me-lech Ha-olam She-a-sa Ni-sim La-avo-te-nu Ba-ya-mim Ha-hem Bi-z'man Ha-zeh.

3. Blessed are You, L-rd our G-d, King of the universe, who has granted us life, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this occasion.

3. Ba-ruch A-tah Ado-nai E-lo-he-nu Me-lech Ha-olam She-heche-ya-nu Ve-ki-yi-ma-nu Ve-higi-a-nu Liz-man Ha-zeh.

Since Judaism is a social/familial religion, how can a Jew from a non-observant family or someone considering becoming a Jew-by-choice get the full effect of Hanukkah? This question is even more pronounced if you do not live in big metropolitan cities like Chicago or New York. The good news is that even in less diverse states, many cities have synagogues, temples, and a Jewish Community Center. Most temples offer Hanukkah celebrations with parties, movie screenings, and dinners; just make sure you call and make dinner reservations.

If you are a college student, check to see if your university offers a Hillel (a college Jewish group.) Most do if there is a demand for it. If possible, it is important to celebrate with other Jews!! To get the full experience, go to both temple services and college parties. If you're thinking about becoming Jewish, you may be surprised by how mellow and fun most young Jews are compared to such a seemingly demanding faith.

If you are the head of a household, and this will be your family's first year celebrating, make sure there is as much or more emphasis on spirituality and/or culture as on gifts. Look up recipes for latkes and other Hanukkah desserts. Play games. But make sure your kids have their own menorahs so they can learn the proper way to celebrate. They should also know the words they are saying when they recite the blessings.

But like all things Jewish, the important thing is to just do it. Do not allow guilt over not obesrving other mitzvoh stop you from enjoying one of the best holidays on our calendar. Being Jewish is no longer a crime. Converting to Judaism is no longer punishable by death. We are now free to practice our faith without fearful consequences. There's nothing minor about that.

Happy Hanukkah!!

Jews Overwhelmingly Opposed Prop 8. That Begs Three Big Questions.

If I got back together with my ex-boyfriend, Trevor, and we decided to get married or have a committment ceremony, my rabbi would not officiate the service. My synagogue would send us elsewhere. That might come as a shock to those who know how unwaveringly proud I am to be gay. How could I belong to a homophobic shul or religion? How could I have an anti-gay rabbi?

The answer is I do not. The problem with Trevor and I getting married is not that we're both guys. The "problem" is that Trevor is a Christian. Conservative rabbis (as a rule) do not officiate the wedding ceremonies of interfaith couples. The idea is that Jewish families are strongest when both parents are committed to the faith; therefore intermarriage is discouraged. (Most Conservative rabbis will give the names of more liberal Reform rabbis willing to marry them, and the couples' membership in the Conservative synagogue will remain in good standing.)

Now personally, I think as long as the couple plans to raise their children in the Jewish faith, they should be allowed to have a Conservative wedding in their own synagogue. (On the other hand, if you plan on raising your kids Christian, I'm not sure why you even care about having a Jewish wedding anyway.) There are many reports out there which show that Christian moms or Hindu dads can do an outstanding job of making sure their kids get a quality Jewish education. But that's a subject for another day.

More interesting to me is this: although Conservative Jews oppose interfaith marriage, they are not trying to get that religious belief enshrined in the law. Even though there are probably a few scriptural verses they could point to as biblical evidence they are correct, they are not trying to legislate their religious beliefs on this subject. The same can be said of Orthodox Jews. On the subject of Jew/gentile marriage, Orthodox Jews make Conservative Jews look like. . . Unitarians. You sometimes get the feeling the ban on interfaith marriage is the most important aspect of halakha. They get really worked up about this. But Orthodox Jews are NOT out there trying to force this religious belief down everyone else's throat. They are, however, joining the right wings of every other religion to force anti-gay legislation on everyone. Proposition 8 was pushed by fundamentalists in many religions.

Of course, in Judaism, fundamentalists are in the minority. The dominant expression of Judaism is the theology espoused by the Reform and Conservative movements. That helps explain why a disproportionate number of Jewish people in California opposed Proposition 8.

Regarding marriage equality, "Los Angeles Jews were more opposed to Prop 8 than any other religious group or ethnic group." --Wikipedia

That brings up some big questions. Number 1: Why is the Union of Orthodox Jewish Congregations of America so out of touch with the rest of Jewrey? Why is it aligning itself with the Roman Catholic Church, The Knights of Colombus, the Church of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons), the American Family Association, Focus on the Family, and countless charismatic, health-and-wealth churches on the subject of marriage equality? Why did Orthodox Jewish organizations feel the need to cast their votes against a fellow minority by supporting Proposition 8?

Number 2: Why does the media act like fundamentalist voices are the only ones that matter in religions? That's cruel enough in religions like Christianity, where we rarely hear the viewpoints of progressive Episcopals or United Methodists. But in Judaism, the media's disregard for progressive Jewish viewpoints is outrageous. Orthodox Judaism makes up the SMALLEST part of Judaism.

Not only were individual Jews on the frontlines of Prop 8 protests, but Jewish organizations also lined up to oppose Prop 8. Jewish Mosaic, the American Jewish Committee, Progressive Jewish Alliance, the National Council of Jewish Women, and thousands of rabbis from all denominations (including Orthodox) opposed this hateful legislation, along with progressive members of other religions ("L.A. Jews Overwhelmingly Opposed Prop 8, Exit Poll Finds." LA Times.)

The Board of Rabbis of Southern California came out in favor of equality. "For many rabbis, it speaks on a personal level in terms of people they deal with whose lives have been impacted over the issue,” said Rabbi Stewart Vogel of Temple Aliyah in Woodland Hills and the board’s president of approximately 290 members.

Most religious Jews support marriage equality. Even Conservative ones. And marriage and families are an important part of Judaism. That brings us to the biggest question of all.

Number 3: Since Judaism allows same-sex marriage, why are gay Jews being kept from fully practicing their faith? Jews are encouraged by their faith to get married and raise Jewish kids. America's bigoted stance on marriage equality (and in some states, adoption) is prohibiting this for Jews who happen to be gay. Also, think about all the gay Christians who belong to chuches that would gladly celebrate their marriages.

Orthodox and Conservative Jews do not try to legislate bans on interfaith marriage. Evangelicals and Mormons do not try to outlaw adultery. Roman Catholics do not attempt to criminalize birth control or condoms. They simply preach their beliefs from the pulpits and leave those with differing opinions subject to secular law. Contrary to the lies the religious right was spreading before Prop 8, marriage equality does NOT criminalize the clergy who wish to spread hate and bigotry to their congregants. Look at the two U.S. states where gays have equal rights (and most of Europe.) Those places still allow religious nuts to be as backwards and ignorant as they want.

Places of worship will always be allowed to discriminate against gay people, and any clergyperson who does not want to marry a gay couple will never have to, just as my rabbi will never have to marry me and a Christian. But subjecting a group's civil rights to the votes of an angry mob of religious maniacs should not be Constitutional. If you care about "the sanctity of marriage," then ban straight divorce!! Let's throw adulterers in jail. If you support a ban on my right to marry, you're not pro-marriage--you're just anti-gay.

MY religion is okay with my being gay. I couldn't care less about yours'.

Protest Prop 8

An ecumenical effort driven mostly by Mormons and far-right evangelicals managed to get the hateful, discriminatory Proposition 8 passed last week, taking away the rights of California's gay and lesbian tax-paying citizens to marry the person they love. ("California's Proposition 8 Pushed by Religious Groups, Especially Mormons")

http://religionclause.blogspot.com/2008/10/californias-proposition-8-pushed-by.html

(Why is it these religious groups only seem to get along when they are united against gay people?)

Here is a list of organized protests. If you live in any of these areas, please consider joining this movement and making your voice heard. And if you belong to a religion, maybe it would be nice to show it!! Let everybody see clear evidence that the people who voted to discriminate against gays and lesbians do NOT represent the only voice in that religion. If you're a Christian, wear a Jesus Loves Me shirt or a cross around your neck. If you're a Muslim or a sikh, dress traditionally. If you're Jewish, wear a kippah. Just a suggestion.

Thursday, Nov. 13

No On Prop 8 Protest - Irvine, Thursday 11/13 4:30pm Corner of Campus & Culver Drive, Irvine Marching to Culver & Alton.

Beverly Hills, CATime: 5:30pm - 7:30pm Location: Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences Street: 8949 Wilshire Blvd (Only candles, signs of love, nothing controversial) Organizer Contact: keegankillian@yahoo.com or 310-710-0678

State, College, PA 5:30pm - 7:30pm Allen Street Gates Corner of College and Allen Streets 8143605717, hvstonewall@gmail.com

Los Angeles, CAEl Coyote Cafe @ 7:00PM7312 Beverly Blvd, 90036

Long Beach, CA7 p.m. Hamburger Mary's

Palm Springs, CA7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Alejo & Palm CanyonMarch to Arenas then back to Francise Stevens ParkHosted by Concerned Citizens of Palm SpringsContact: deankrumme@mac.com

Friday, Nov. 14

2008UC San Diego, La Jolla 11:30pm - 3:00pm 9450 Gilman DriveLa Jolla, California

Vanguard College12:00pm - 2:00pm Lawn in front of Heath @ Vanguard 5623107470, Ebonee.Batiste@vanguard.edu

Hermosa Beach, CA 5:00pm - 7:00pm The Intersection of Pier and Hermosa Ave.Hermosa Beach Pier

Tucson, AZ5:00: Assemble at El Presidio Park (155 N Church St)5:30: March to La PLacita Village5:45 - 7:00 Rally

San Francisco TIME: 6:00pmPLACE: San Francisco Chronicle, 901 Mission St.

Los Angeles, CAUCLA7:00pm - 9:00pm Bruin Plaza / Campus

Saturday Nov. 15th

Join The Impact! Nationwide. On the steps of your City Hall on November 15th at 10:30am PST / 1:30pm EST, our community WILL take to the streets and speak out against Proposition 8.

San Francisco 10:30 A.M. at City Hall.1 Dr Carton B Goodlett Pl San Francisco, CA 94102http://protest8sf.wordpress.com/

Orange County, CA 12:00pm - 5:00pm South Coast Plaza Bear Street (Where the mall, Crystal Court, and Metro Pt. meet) Costa Mesa, CA

Anti-prop 8 New York Protest 1:30pm - 4:30pm City Hall260 BroadwayNew York, NY

Las Vegas, NV2-4PMThe LGBT Center, 953 E. Sahara Ave., Ste. B-31 standoutforequality@thecenterlv.com, 702-733-9800

Valencia Santa Clarita / Stevenson Ranch – 4PM Corner of Valencia Blvd & McBean Pkwy, Santa Clarita http://www.myspace.com/noonH8

Victorville, CA Corner of Bear Valley rd and Hesperia Rd. (NorthWest corner by Bank of America) in Victorville. 6:00PM

Sunday, Nov. 16th

Lake Forest, CA Saddle Back Church 10:00AM1 Saddleback Pkwy, Lake Forest, CA 92630

Long Beach, CAJesus Christ Church of Latter-Day Saints [Silent Protest]10:30 AM, 1140 Ximeno 7148819427, csibri@mac.com

Los Altos, CA11:00am - 2:00pm 1300 Grant RdBrandonRN2004@aol.com

Oakland, CA 11:30am - 2:00pm Foothill Missionary Baptist Church 1530 Foothill BLVD

Philadelphia, PA2:00pm - 3:00pm Independence Hall 143 South 3rd Street

Long Beach, CA3 p.m. Intersection of PCH/7th/BellflowerContact: Brittney at felisperdita@verizon.net

San Clemente, CA3 p.m. 242 Avenida Del Mar Contact: Edson McClellan at 949.584.6084 or emcclellan7@gmail.com.

Friday, Nov. 21st

Front Steps of Burlingame High School Street: 1 Mangini WayCity/Town: Burlingame, CA http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=93382880491

Sunday, Nov. 23rd

Cambridge, Massachusetts 2pm Cambridge City Hall 795 Massachusetts Avenue Cambridge, MA. 02139

Saturday, Nov. 29th

No On Prop 8 Peaceful Protest & Candlelight Vigil - Long Beach, Saturday 11/29 7pmLong Beach Performing Arts Center, 300 E. Ocean Blvd., Long Beach

----thanks to Queers United for compiling this list----

Jewish Popularity: Everybody Really Does Love a Nice Jewish Girl (or Boy)

A racist, who goes by the initials A.J., recently wrote a delightful article for a hate site about how President-elect Barack Obama is a Jewish creation designed to subvert morality and push "Jewish" legislation about abortion, universal health care, gay-straight equality, the death penalty, etc. (Yawn.)

http://tworca.org/barack_obama.html

"It is purely Jewish money from billiionaire currency con-artist George Soros, Jew money-bags Lew Susman, Jew movie moguls Steven Spielberg, David Geffen, and a thousand Katz's, Cohen's, Weinstein's, and Einstein's and Bernstein's in New York and Hollywood that are breathing life into this man-made mongrel mud-man [sic]." A.J. also points out that David Axelrod, Obama's "chief political strategist" is one of the Chosen People.

I point out this anti-Semitism only to say some people still hate us and see us as the movers and shakers behind every single major development in the world. These people are the ones who seek out the last names of the founders/owners of Facebook, Starbucks, and Google and write silly blogs about how every new popular company is run by a Jew. Obama's victory is just the latest event we supposedly masterminded (although I guess my Jewish friend Cody--an NRA member who voted for McCain--didn't get the memo.)

The neo-Nazis, white supremacists, and klansmen are not going anywhere; they're here to stay. And Obama's historic win--supported by 77% of Jewish voters--is only going to energize them. Obama has already been the vicitm of stated, planned assassination attempts.

But as much as we should be aware of this hatred, it's important to keep things in perspective. And that perspective is fairly sunny!! Jews have triumphed in this society--individually, culturally, and spiritually--and are among the most popular groups of people in the western world. Far from hating us, and even pretty far from being indifferent to us, (almost) everybody loves us. A rabbi once famously said about the threat of intermarriage: "The greatest threat to Judaism is no longer that gentiles want to kill us. It's that gentiles want to marry us."

So instead of drilling into the heads of Jewish kids and Hebrew school students that everybody despises Jews and that Jews must be careful because we're always one step away from another Shoah, what if we balanced that by also showing them how so many Jews have succeeded in this country without hiding his or her Jewishness? What if we showed them how Judaism is a major religion that attracts many people who were not born Jewish? How Jewish theology is currently an attractive option in the market place of spiritual ideals?

The first reason we should share this positive balance with our kids and students is that it will surely make them more emotionally healthy people. I have no research to back this up, but my own intuition tells me it isn't good for kids to constantly, obsessively read/hear/learn about our history of pogroms and gas chambers. That sad aspect of our history is definitely important, but it's better to balance that with stories of other ethnic groups' oppression and stories about Jewish achievement in the U.S. and Europe.

The other reason to share this positivity with kids is that IT IS THE TRUTH!!

In proportion, more Christians convert to Judaism every year than vice versa. Nearly every synagogue has active conversion classes. A woman from the Reform temple I do not attend converted for her ex-husband in 1999, and she has remained Jewish even after the 2002 divorce. Even though her initial reasons for conversion were more about her relationship than her spirituality, she has become a Jew in heart and soul.

There have also been recent reports that Judaism is attracting large numbers of black people. In fact, a black Christian church in the south suddenly saw a mass conversion. After exploring the faith as a group, every single member came to the conclusion that Judaism was a bitter fit with their personal beliefs than was Christianity. Everyone studied with a rabbi and they converted en masse. According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, this is happening more and more (although not in the same dramatic fashion as the mass conversion.)

"For a black male to put on a kippah and go wandering around in a predominantly black community, you get the strangest looks," said Pamela Harris, who converted along with her kippah-sporting husband Jim ("Judaism Drawing More Black Americans.")

Another black woman, Latesha Jones, was introduced to the faith by befriending some Jews. Because Jews don't proseletize, Ms. Jones studied her friends' faith on her own, and she asked questions and went to shabbos service. Soon after she went through the conversion. "I felt welcome," she said. "I felt like this is my place."

Even though I've experienced my share of prejudice, those instances are far outweighed by the genuine interest and respect my friends show my faith and heritage. Even friends who are Christians or Muslims or atheists are able to carry on conversations with me about the Talmud and bar mitzvahs and Hanukkah without being judgmental or hateful. And I have so many straight non-Jewish male friends who ask me to set them up with Jewish girls, which is apparently a common occurence in the U.S., given the near-constant warnings about inter-marraige from right-leaning rabbis.

Face it. We are popular. Yes, some hate us, just as they hate people who are black, Latino, gay, or Asian. But most people admire Jewish singers, artists, writers, and entertainers without seeing the disproportionate number of successful Jews as being evidence of group control or world domination. Some people are even interested in joining the tribe.

Cute teen-idol pop star Jesse McCartney (not Jewish) recently told the media he uses the Jewish dating site JDate to meet girls. He said, "One of my best buddies is a Conservative Jew, and he told me about JDate and I set up an account to meet cute girls."

Well, good luck, Jesse. I hope you find a nice girl. Even if you don't convert.

Why Obama Will Make a Better President

Approximately eighty percent of the Jewish-American community votes Democratic in presidential elections. Despite this fact, both Senator Barack Obama and Senator John McCain are courting Jewish voters. The Democrats are not taking us for granted, and the Republicans are not writing us off. Both parties are taking the usual steps of pledging support for Israel, but there is so much more to Jews and Judaism than that. What about compassion and health care for the poor, and equality for all citizens, regardless of race, orientation, or belief?

Those of us who take our heritage seriously and who feel Jewish morality is best explained by those great Conservative rabbis Milton Steinberg and Abraham Joshua Heschel can easily see why Obama will make the better U.S. president.

ECONOMY: John McCain is a hypocrite. He describes Obama as a "socialist." He says Obama's plans for the economy amount to socialism and his running mate Sarah Palin says continuously that, "this is not the time to experiment with socialism." And yet McCain supports nationalizing business, as evidenced by his support of the recent government bailouts. He also supports tax cuts for the ultra-rich, and his official site offers very little substance in the way of getting the U.S. economy back on track. His plan of action to help the middle class amounts to little more than bizzare soundbites about Joe the Plumber and Wendy the Waitress.

Obama is not a socialist, and--sadly--he would be an even more stellar candidate if his policies veered more in that direction. But in terms of capitalism, he has devised innovative plans to truly help the poor and improve our ailing economy, including creating jobs in fields related to modern energy sources. He wants to lessen the burden of higher education costs for students who make decent grades. His other sophisticated ideas inlcude, "investments in infrastructure, energy independence, education, and research and development." He wants to, "modernize and simplify our tax code so it provides greater opportunity and relief to more Americans."

WAR IN IRAQ: McCain says, "when Iraqi forces can safeguard their own country, American troops can return home." Unfortunately, that translates to many more years of occupation. This war will last indefinately under a McCain presidencey. The war is actually McCain's defining issue, and "winning" the war and displaying America's strength to "countries that don't like us much" are of the utmost importance to him. Obama supports a timeline for withdrawal and says the way Bush handled the war (unilateral engagement, preemptive strike) is wrong.


DEFENSE OF U.S. (AND ISRAEL): Obama states, "We have inherited a national security structure that was developed and organized in the late 1940's to win the Cold War." He wants to meet unconditionally with hostile world leaders (while still condemning those leaders' views and actions) in an effort to negotiate peace. He also wants to end Bush's stop-loss policies, develop a better weapons program, and provide more benefits for soldiers and veterans. Clearly, other countries' view of the U.S. will improve when Obama is President.

Both candidates support Israel as a U.S. friend and ally. But both men have a different definition of "support." McCain and Palin both fall into the right-wing trap of pledging undying, unconditional support for every expansionist Israeli policy, even those denounced by most Israeli citizens. McCain's and especially Palin's positions on social issues show they are not in synch with Jewish voters. And McCain's connection to Pastor John Hagee--a right-wing Zionist preacher who claimed the Shoah is G-d's punishment to Jews for not accepting Jesus--is at least as real as Obama's connection to Reverend Jeremiah Wright, but very few people other than Jews made an issue out of it.

Obama supports Israel's right to exist, as well as the safety of its citizens. He has davened at the Western Wall while wearing a kippah. But he has also expressed sympathy for both Palestinians and Israelis who live in fear and who have lost loved ones in this tragic conflict. He is mostly untested on this issue, but his administration will hopefully be more balanced than Bush's was or McCain's would be.

CIVIL RIGHTS: Obama says he will pass the Matthew Shepard Act and expand hate crime legislation to include sexual orientation on a national level. He also wants to ban racial profiling, end Clinton's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" military policy banning open gays, and "reinvigorate the Department of Justice's criminal section." He also describes a proposed Constitutional amendment defining marriage as between one man and one woman as "hateful."

McCain, on the other hand, says one thing and does another. He speaks for the most part in sane, civil language to appeal to undecided moderate voters, but his campaign is busy working its more fanatical base into a frenzy. His supporters have led a fear-mongering campaign based on anti-Arab and anti-Muslim sentiments. From the beginning, McCain supporters have tried to convince people (mostly evangelical Christians, Jewish senior citizens, and unaffilliated white people) that Obama is a Muslim. As Jon Stewart and Colin Powell both pointed out, this is offensive not only for being inaccurate but also for being unimportant. Why should a Muslim not run for office? Now there are rumblings among McCain's supporters that the New Testament claims the anti-Christ will be "of Muslim descent." Amazingly, the McCain campaign even silenced a Muslim Republican McCain supporter who was trying to defend McCain.

Moving from anti-Islam prejudice to outright racism, Obama's middle name Hussein has been used by McCain's campaign to suggest he is Arab. And while his supporters were quick to point out that McCain told an insane woman at his rally that Obama is not an Arab, his evidence to her was that he is a "decent family man." That was probably just a gaffe, but it's still the kind of gaffe that comes from not caring too deeply about racism in the first place. He is clearly out of his element when it comes to civil rights.

Just like he does with Arabs and Muslims, McCain also has other people do his dirty work when it comes to gays. In a transparent effort to court anti-gay religious bigots, his running mate Sarah Palin recently said she supports a Constitutional amendment banning gays from getting married.

HEALTH CARE: Obama says, "I . . . believe that every American has the right to affordable health care." McCain and Palin would say this is yet more evidence that Obama is a socialist, but if he were a socialist he would have said "free" in place of "affordable." Instead, Obama supports allowing qualified citizens who are not insured through their workplaces to tap into government health care. Anyone who takes ethics seriously can tell you the child of poor parents deserves the same health care given to the child of rich parents, but Jewish ethics would go further and say those poor parents also deserve the same health care as those rich parents. It would be nice if Obama supported socialized health care, but the capitalist program he does espouse is still infinitely better than McCain's. Obama says, "It's time to let the drug and insurance companies know that while they'll get a seat at the table, they don't get to buy every chair."

If all being Jewish means to you is that you watch Curb Your Enthusiasm, buy Manishewietz, and work hard to get your spoiled kids into Harvard, then there's no telling who you should or will vote for. But if you live to practice Jewish ethics--if the moral codes of Rashi, Steinberg, and Heschel are embedded in your heart and soul--it is clear Barack Obama is the better choice for U.S. President.

Correction: I can find no evidence that Sarah Palin was ever business partners with the member of Jews For Jesus who visited her church, as I originally wrote. I apologize for the mistake.

Why Jews Dislike Palin

Here we go again. Every few years, some big media-saturated event lights up the internet with right-wing anti-Semitism, and the always-fragile level of tolerance the right grants Jewish people due to Israel and Jewish-American wealth and success begins to fade. Because no matter how much money Jews make, at the end of the day they still refuse to completely assimilate (read: vote Republican)

It's always strange to see the disparity between the right's support of the right wing of Israeli politics and their hatred and contempt for actual Jewish people. Evangelist Billy Graham is a right-wing Zionist, but he counseled Nixon about Hollywood Jews who subvert morality and promote liberalism. The Catholic League's Bill Donahue supports the Israeli right, and he also thinks "Hollywood is controlled by secular Jews who only care about anal sex." Ann Coulter can fellate the Likud party all she wants, but she revealed her true feelings about Jews to Danny Deutche last year, saying they need to be "perfected" like her. (I guess that means become crazy bigots with horse-faces.) It's easy to see why she and her buddies are mad at us. The old saying that Jews earn like Episcopalians but vote like Puerto Ricans is true and must be baffling to anyone who wonders why someone wouldn't vote with her pocketbook. Usually these Jew-baiting events involve Mel Gibson, but this time it comes from a surprising source: John McCain's camp.

McCain has made a Herculean effort to court Jewish voters. Whereas most Republicans in the past have written off Jews because they vote mostly Democratic, McCain has directly appealed to them. And some of his supporters have tried to capitalize on the anti-Muslim sentiments of some (especially older) Jewish people with aggressive, false propaganda about how Senator Barack Obama is secretly a militant Muslim.

That's why the turnaround is so shocking. Here's what happened: First, McCain chose Sarah Palin as his running mate. She is a nut-job who believes dinosaurs and humans once coexisted. She can't be bothered to read newspapers. She is against gay rights. She is against reproductive choice. We get it. Loves guns, hates gays. Really into hunting, but not so much into reading, learning, or science. So we (Jews) don't like her, naturally. That's the second stage of the turnaround. We reject this weirdo and make fun of her mercilessly in our fancy, city-folk jobs as reporters and Daily Show writers. That is all really predictable. If McCain thought Jews would warm up to a crazy Alaskan governor who hangs out with Jews For Jesus leaders, he must be as insane as she is.

But now the internet is awash with racists claiming Jews hate Palin because she is a Christian, and that this is further proof that Jews are anti-Christian bigots. Some are saying Jews are repeating the racism that was dealt to them by Christians in the past. This Jew-baiting claim is even making its way (in a nicer tone, of course) to mainstream sites like Beliefnet. Let's get three things clear:

1. Christianity is not a race, so it's impossible to be racist against Christians. Christianity is a CHOICE, like Scientology or Reform Judaism. Because we live in a civilized society, we should be civil towards each other and refrain from ridiculing someone's religion for no reason, but criticizing a religion is not racism. Anti-Semitism is racism because it is hatred against someone because of her ethnicity. Hating someone because her last name is Cohen is racism. However, criticizing Conservative Judaism is not racist because that's a religion. Therefore, criticizing Christianity is not racism.

2. Uh, we don't hate Christians. Most of us don't, anyway. According to Ha'aretz, Jewish voters favor Obama, and he is a Christian. Jews voted overwhelmingly for Bill Clinton and John Kerry, and they are both Christians. I'm pretty sure most Jews think Oskar Schindler was a good guy, and he was a Christian. We dislike Palin because she is crazy!!

3. If you want to strike a chord with Jewish voters, support legislation we can get behind. Most Jews want gay-straight equality, reproductive rights, socialized health care, and support for education and the arts. And a balanced approach to the Israeli-Palistinian conflict that respects the humanity of both peoples will make Israel more secure than just giving its right wing unchecked support.

Well, I hope that clears things up for you anti-Semites. I've got to get back to the cabal now. We've got some world-domination plans to draw up.

Best and Most Disappointing Summer Movies, 2008

Now that the (Jewish) year is coming to an end, and autumn has officially begun, what better time to reflect on this year's summer movies and make an arbitrary, completely pointless list of the best and worst?

BEST

1. vicky christina barcelona Is anyone else sick of critics calling every amazing Woody Allen film his comeback? First, I thought they would stop saying that after the funny/sad/experimental Melinda/Melinda. I was wrong. When Match Point opened to glowing reviews, critics called it his comeback, as if Melinda/Melinda didn't count. Then when Vicky Christina Barcelona was seen to be another classic film from the Woodster, they called it a return to form, forgetting all about Match Point!! Anyway, see Vicky. It's another of Woody Allen's bright, funny clashes of society's bourgeois sensibilities and Allen's desire to do his own thing. Scarlet Johannson atones for her Tom Waits cover album (just in time for Yom Kippur!!) and Penelope Cruz turns in her best work since Volver. The real draw, though, is Javiar Bardem, speaking Allen's witty dialogue and probable views on relationships. If Johannson is Allen's muse, Bardem is the writer-director's sexy avatar.

2. the dark knight Christopher Nolan's sequel to his own Batman Begins isn't just an improvement. It's a spectacular improvement. More emotionally and thematically complex, this box office champion sees Nolan eschewing the German Expressionism-lite of Tim Burton's versions and instead summoning his inner Scorsese to create a visceral crime saga with as much psychological impact as summer thrills. And Heath Ledger's Joker is the most terrifyingly unpredictable villian since Ralph Fienne's Amon Goethe in Schindler's List.

3. standard operating procedure This dispassionate but no less scathing look the Abu Ghraib scandal is not the classic that is his Fog of War, but it's still enthralling with its examination of the soldiers who committed these heinous acts as well as the politicians who allowed them.

4. paranoid park Experimenting once again with focus in/focus out shots, slow-motion, and Dogme 95, queer director Gus Van Sant pricks his characters until they bleed. A disaffected young boy who is involved in a security guard's accidental death is at the center of this emotionally exhausting film, the helmer's best since Elephant. All his usual elements are here: the plot is thin, the texture is rich, the boys are gorgeously photogrpahed (by cinematographer Christopher Doyle,) and relatable characters, the girls (like the cheerleader girlfriend) are not.


5. tropic thunder Big-money studios usually don't release inflammatory, wildly offensive movies. That's why it came us such a happy suprise that this DreamWorks release even got made.* Ben Stiller should write, direct, and star in more dark, edgy films like this than glossy corporate trash like Night at the Museum. From the hilarious fake trailers for the characters' other movies (the gay monk drama Satan's Alley winning MTV Movie Award's Best Kiss is the highlight) to the action-and-big-laughs climax, Tropic Thunder is one of the best mainstream comedies in a very long time.

MOST DISAPPOINTING

indiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull The thing about Indiana Jones films is that they are entertaining AND well-made. Lots of trashy movies are entertaining and provide escapist entertainment, but they suck. And lots of movies (like Remains of the Day or Ghandi) are well-made but incredibly boring. But Steven Spielberg poured craftsmanship into Raiders of the Lost Ark, creating an action-movie masterpiece of well-paced plotting, swift-but-great characterizations, eye-popping camera-work, and lavish mise-en-scene. And those action scenes!! They were so intricately choreographed they actually involved physics and mathemtical problem-solving. (That's not an exaggeration.)

Indy IV looks, sounds, and feels like it was made by people who know or care nothing about filmmaking. I expect that from George Lucas, who hasn't been involved with a good film since the first Bush was president (and that was Indy III, directed by Spielberg.) But for Spielberg to have been the captain of this sinking ship is just depressing. It's time to cut ties with his first mate.

*Not that any minority is actually ridiculed or even slightly made fun of in this film. The fact that Special Olympics chairman Timothy Shriver doesn't understand that Tropic Thunder is satirizing arrogant, incredibly stupid actors who are so hypocritical they would use the "r" work after winning Oscars for their "sensitive" portrayals of developmentally delayed people is a deperssing statement on the fact that so many people don't understand satire. It reminds me of those older Jewish people in my synagogue (and even young Jews on Facebook) who actually think Borat is anti-Semitic.

When Kosher Isn't Kosher

When Kosher Isn’t Kosher
By Eli Jeremiah

Kosher is the best thing about Judaism. Symbolic and practical at the same time, kashrut laws—when applied thoughtfully—stand out among Judaism’s beautiful concepts as the most defining and meaningful way to practice the Jewish faith, to live a Jewish life.

The practicality of the kosher moral code manifests itself in several ways. Kosher slaughterhouses are supposed to be more humane than non-kosher ones. They are supposed to minimize the suffering of the animals killed, and the animals are to be cared for as dignified creatures while alive. There is a feeling of solemnity to a kosher slaughterhouse, because the animals are treated this way and not as meat, and most kosher slaughterhouses embrace complete transparency, with its facilities open to public and rabbinical inspection at any time.

The symbolism comes from the spiritual significance of kosher. We don’t mix meat and dairy to symbolize that meat comes from violence and dairy comes from life. Rabbi Feinstein says in Tough Questions Jews Ask, “Saying no to a cheeseburger is a symbolic way of saying to no to a world that mixes violence and life all the time.” And the reason some animals (like pigs) are prohibited is to limit what we are allowed to kill. There’s a story rabbis often tell that says G-d actually wants us to be vegetarians, that not killing any animals is the most ethical way to live. But He understands He gave us cravings for meat that many of us cannot overcome. Therefore He listed several animals Jews are prohibited from eating in order to make the consumption of meat more inconvenient.

For many Jews, keeping kosher is a way of turning our kitchen into an altar to G-d. Keeping kosher forces us to think about what food we put in our bodies. It disciplines us and makes us respect the animals we kill.

That’s why the AgriProcessors scandal is so tragic. In the hands of some Orthodox Hasids, a supposedly kosher business was not kosher at all.

For those who don’t know, AgriProcessors is a Hasidic-owned kosher slaughterhouse in Postville, Iowa. For years, this business—which caters mostly to the Orthodox community—has violated U.S. law as well as halakha, Jewish law. PETA exposed its shocking abuse of animals, and a May 12 immigration raid spotlighted its completed disregard for human beings. The company had hired a staff of illegal immigrants and mistreated them, paid them terrible wages, and gave them so little food they were forced to accept charity handouts.

To Conservative Judaism’s everlasting credit, the movement—led by the Jewish Theological Seminary—worked tirelessly to expose these criminals to the media and to bring about justice. The United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism and the Conservative Rabbinical Association also called for an immediate boycott of AgriProcessors, urging Jews to not patronize any of its subdivisions, either. (“Conservative Socialism: AgriProcessors and Hekhsher”)
Rabbi Eric Yoffie, head of the Union of Reform Judaism, said it was “absolutely time for the Jewish community to demand similar investigations into all kosher slaughterhouses.”

Not surprisingly, AgriProcessors has many sympathetic Orthodox supporters who claim the controversy was caused by liberal Jews and unions. (The Orthodox Union says it is awaiting the outcome of the legal proceedings against AgriProcessors and will withdraw its kosher certification if the company is found guilty. As if there isn’t enough evidence of wrongdoing without the trial.) While U.S. law is one thing, many Orthodox Jews fail to see how mistreating humans and animals violates halakha. Well, they could start by reading the Torah.

“You shall not abuse a needy and destitute laborer, whether a fellow countryman or a stranger in one of the communities in your land. You must give him his wages on the very same day [he works], before the sun sets, because he is needy and he urgently depends on it—otherwise he will cry out to G-d against you and you will be guilty.”
--Deuteronomy 24:14-15

Noting the activism and pursuit of justice by the Conservative (which requires keeping kosher) and Reform (which does not) movements, Shmarya Rosenberg said this about Orthodox Jews who still defend AgriProcessors: “Orthodox outreach groups are fond of asking potential [Orthodox] recruits a question: Will your grandchildren be Jewish? The idea being that if the non-Orthodox person doesn’t take proactive steps now, his children or grandchildren will marry non-Jews. Those proactive steps? Adopting Orthodoxy, of course. The thing is, they’re asking the wrong question. Their question focuses on genetic group identity rather than behavior. The question should be, “Will your children and grandchildren be kind, moral, and ethical people?” Asked that way, the answer is clear. Orthodoxy as currently practiced is no guarantee of ethical behavior—in fact, it’s probably contraindicated. AgriProcessors has proved that.” (“Exploiting Undocumented Workers Exploits Judaism.”)

What many Orthodox Jews fail to understand is that they are not actually keeping kosher at all. Not the way the majority of Jews understand the concept. They are blindly following a legalistic set of guidelines with absolutely no concern or thought for Jewish ethics. Most Orthodox Jews would say everything this article says about the reasons we keep kosher is silly. Jews keep kosher simply because G-d say to. To them, there is no rhyme or reason to the laws.

But that’s not real Judaism. Judaism is a life-changing, soul-shaking faith where we wrestle with ethics at all times. Every single thing we do—and yes, every single thing we eat—requires adhering to the highest possible standard. That’s what kosher means: the highest possible standard—even non-Jews use the term that way colloquially. That’s why progressive organizations like Kosher Conscience and Hazon—which seek to blend kashrut laws with the values of the eco-friendly/ fair wage/ organic movements—are in keeping with Jewish values much more than just not eating certain foods because G-d said so.

By standing up to AgriProcessors and bringing its leaders to justice, the Conservative and Reform movements (as well as those secular Jews, non-Jews, and against-the-grain Orthodox Jews) have made kosher more kosher.

Copyright 2008, Eli Jeremiah

Choosing My Religion

I hate weddings. Not only are they boring and stuffy, but my cynical nature never allows me to reconcile the piety and pageantry of the ceremony with the fact that most marriages end in divorce. When I couldn’t make it to my cousin’s nuptials last year, I was tempted to say, “I’ll just catch your next wedding.” However, I must admit I recently felt a pang of tribal curiosity when I was invited to my first same-sex wedding ceremony.

My friends Ben and Josh—who have lived with each other for 3 years in Portland, Oregon—plan to move to California this September and make it official. They have already booked a synagogue in San Francisco, the much-sought-after Beth Shalom. As much as I hate weddings, I am actually looking forward to this one, if only to see who stomps his foot on the wine glass.

And for those hipper-than-thou gay naysayers, who roll their eyes at the thought of two cool Jewish dudes like Ben and Josh conforming to “straight” society by getting hitched, I say stop your kvetching. Even if marriage is silly (that’s debatable,) that doesn’t mean certain minorities should be content to be banned from the institution by bigoted lawmakers and religious oppressors. Nobody should eat unhealthy fast food, but if McDonald’s were to suddenly stop serving gays and lesbians, civil rights activists should be outraged. Marriage is important to many of us, and not just because of benefits. If you don’t believe in marriage, don’t get one; but the only real way for Ben and Josh to conform to “straight” society is to marry women.

So mazel tov, Ben and Josh. I will be there. I feel kinship with these two guys in more ways than one. Not only are we all gay men in our 20’s, we are also gay Jews. We lived in Israel as infants. Our parents are divorced. We are Russian and German in terms of ancestry. (Josh and I are Russian on our mother’s side, while Ben’s mother is German.) And we are all Conservative Jews.

Judaism contains three major branches—Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform. Aside from Humanistic and Reconstructionist Judaism, Reform is the most lenient, and aside from the ultra-Orthodox haredim, Orthodox is the most stringent. Like Ben and Josh, I practice the comfortable middle ground of Conservative. This movement combines the social justice activism found in Reform with the respect for halakah (Jewish law) found in Orthodoxy. Conservative synagogues require males to cover their heads in the sanctuary, and they only serve kosher food at shabbos dinner.

Conservative is a perfect fit for me. I dislike the way many Orthodox Jews blindly adhere to Orthodox rabbi’s interpretations, even when those interpretations are nonsensical (ancient purity laws about menstruation being followed in 2008) or immoral (homophobic interpretation of Leviticus 18:22) I also dislike many Reform Jews’ complete disregard for halakha and their sometimes lack of discipline, as well as the movement’s early history of conducting services in German, and forbidding members to wear kippahs or keep kosher.

I am in no way an extremist. I think the frum (observant) lifestyle is noble, and when the movement someday does away with its misogyny and homophobia I will admire it greatly. I also think Reform Judaism is completely legitimate, and that any gentile who becomes a Jew-by-Choice by converting through Reform will be just as Jewish as I. I definitely don’t think these two (or any) branches of Judaism are treif (non-kosher;) I simply am choosing my religion. I thought about this when I was talking to another friend.

Makailah is another gay Jew in my life. She is Orthodox and lives in New York City. Last spring break, I stayed with her for a few days and met her friends from a group called Orthodykes. One day, over a bland meal at a kosher Subway in Brooklyn, I brought up the fact that Conservative Judaism now allows same-sex marriage. I told her she and her partner should go off and get married, (if only because I wanted to see who gets to stomp on the wine glass.)

She shook her head no and said there was no way in hell she would have a simcha (Jewish religious ceremony) at a Conservative synagogue. When she gets married, it will be in an Orthodox shul.

I could have been annoyed, and I could have angrily pointed out the Orthodox movement’s homophobia. But I didn’t, because I see her point. She doesn’t participate in any religious activities that aren’t Orthodox, and why should she? It isn’t fair that just because she’s gay she has to have the most important relationship of her adult life sanctioned by a rabbi from a different movement.

Makailah believes the Orthodox movement can change its ways and follow the paths of Reform and Conservative (smaller branches like Humanistic have always embraced gay-straight equality.) I agree with her. After all, a couple decades ago, who would have believed two males would be getting married in a Conservative synagogue in California? As long as we remain vigilant—as long as activists remain active—we can bring about change. Actually, it was sages whose views would make them Orthodox in modern times who made the famous rabbinic decree that whatever the Torah means by “rebellious teenagers,” it does not mean what we mean today by “rebellious teenagers,” thus making that aspect of halakha void. It didn’t require a God talking to these sages through a burning bush for this reinterpretation to take place. It took rabbis who used common sense and compassion when interpreting ancient scripture.

Orthodox Jews should follow the example of Orthodox rabbi Steven Greenberg, who interprets the prohibition against male sodomy as a prohibition against the kind of domination and humiliation by one man to another seen today by thugs and prison inmates. Not a prohibition against modern gay couples acting on their natural feelings.

Judaism is a living tradition, and our commitment to tikkun olam must begin with ourselves. How can we Jews believe in repairing the world if we consider Orthodox Judaism beyond repair? What disaster are we inviting when we leave our religions instead of stay and fight? We should lovingly but firmly remind Orthodox Jews over and over that halakha and equality are not mutually exclusive, and that anyone who refuses to even consider reinterpreting the questionable verses is guilty of worshiping the Torah instead of G-d.

I said all of this to Josh—of Ben and Josh—a few nights ago when he called me. I told him how proud I was of Makailah for not settling for a Conservative wedding and how proud I was of him and Ben for not settling for a Reform one. I told him how we should demand justice from our religious traditions instead of bailing on them. But Josh had nothing to say about any of that; he just wanted to talk about his wedding. And so he did. For hours. He went on and on about how he has dreamt of his wedding day ever since he was a young boy and how he wants everything to be perfect.

Something tells me Ben is the one who will be stomping the wine glass at the wedding.

Copyright 2008, Eli Jeremiah