Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Gentiles For Yarmulkes

(Some Jews belong to different, non-Jewish religions, including Christianity. Just as Irish people do not necessarily have to be Catholic and Arabs do not have to be Muslim, ethnic Jews are still Jews even if they're Christians. This essay has NOTHING to do with these people.)

Gentiles For Yarmulkes

I live in the midwest, so I'm accustomed to seeing Nordic or Anglo-Saxon looking people inexplicably wearing a kippah and filing into Whole Foods' deli to pick up some Middle Eastern dish they cannot pronounce. They cover their heads. They keep kosher. They pray the shema. And they're not Jewish.

Sometimes if I'm unsure whether I'm looking at a fake Jew or the real thing, there are a few questions that usually seperate the Chosen from the wannabe's. "I like your kippah" is a much better statement than "I like your yarmulke," since "yarmulke" is the word usually used in movies and TV shows and is thus more familiar to non-Jews. Next month, I will tell them to have a happy new year, and in January I'll say "happy secular New Year!" If they looked confused, they're probably Messianic "Jews."

I'm sure some of them are good people, and tolerance of their antics is a testament to religious pluaralism and freedom of religion, but--holy Moses--what a silly cult. In a weird affront to both Judaism and mainstream Christianity, Messianic "Judaism" is the most infamous and ambitious evangelical effort to convert Jews to Christianity. It blends traditional Jewish rituals with the Christian belief in Jesus' divinity and messiahship--completely missing the point of both religions: namely, those Jewish rituals are empty without real Jewish meaning. And Christian grace is supposed to have made those rituals null and void.

Judaism says people can only atone for their own sins. Evangelical Christianity claims vicarious atonement through Christ. Jews believe people are born morally neutral and can choose to do good or evil or somewhere in between. Evangelicals believe people are born with orininal sin--an evil inclination--and that they can only be saved through Christ. Jews who believe in a forthcoming messiah think he will be a political leader. Evangelicals say the messiah is divine, he is God in the flesh, and that he has already come.

That last part is the most important difference: Jesus. The idea that any person who ever walked the earth is God or part of a God-head or a holy trinity is as alien to Judaism as a belief in Xenu--and just as incompatible.

While most conservative Christians believe in converting non-believers, most of them focus on the whole "unsaved" world. Messianic "Jews", on the other hand, believe in taking the Gospel "to the Jew first" as their ads put it. They are obsessed with us. They travel to big cities or wealthy neighborhoods where they know there will be a lot of Jews and proselytize in the most deceitful way. The biggest lie is calling themselves Jews in the first place, when most of them are gentiles, something they only admit when pressed on the subject. They must think this will confuse young Jewish people. The deceit is really mind-boggling. They call their churches "synagogues". They call their pastors "rabbis". They call their cult a branch of Judaism.

Real Jews have won many legal battles, including the famous Google case, as well as getting the Yellow Pages to list Messianic "synagogues" under the 'Church' category instead of the 'Synagogue' category. And a few years ago, Jewish leaders stepped up their efforts to combat this deceitful missionizing.

But I have a sad prediction. Since most Messianic "Jews" support Israel, I fear the same Jewish leaders who were so bold not long ago will become more relaxed on this issue. We cannot allow that to happen. Support for Israel cannot outweigh serious theological differences. The problem is, not only are most Messianics Zionists, but somewhere between 6 to 15 thousand Messianics live in Israel, and the Supreme Court of Israel made the historic decision that Messianics who really are ethnically Jewish share the same right of return granted to Jews who belong to mainstream Christianity, something I happen to agree with. But acknowledging the obvious fact that ethnic Jews are Jewish, despite their religion--which I don't think is even controversial--does not change the fact that we should be educating our kids in their religion and to beware of cults and missionaries.

I realize it's possible these people pose no real threat to Judaism. Proportionately, more Christians convert to Judaism every year than the other way around, despite the facts that Jews do not proselytize and that converting to Judaism is difficult and time-consuming. That's actually amazing and empowering. But it's sad to see more and more leaders grow tolerant of this destructive cult simply because this cult is supportive of Israel.

Jesus is an important issue that should divide Christians and Jews along theological lines--not in a nasty, violent way, but in a firm, peaceful way. And I feel we're losing that passion, both out of some wrong-headed, lazy, pussy idea of "tolerance" and out of nationalistic zeal.

One year a group of Messianics stood outside our JCC holding signs saying "Behold Your God" above a picture of Jesus dying on a cross. As I made my way inside, a woman yelled at me, asking me if I am "a complete Jew." I told her I am a complete Jew because I love the REAL God; I don't give a fuck about Jesus. She looked shocked, and I said it's cool if he's your thing, but don't expect me to not defend my beliefs when you push yours' on me.

Imagine if Jews created a Jewish group called Christians For the Real God and traveled to churches, telling their underage children that they can reject Jesus, convert to Judaism, and still be called Christians. That's exactly what's going on here. And our leaders are ill equipped to deal with the onslaught because Judaism is slowly being replaced by both Judaica. I will have nothing to do with that. They can decorate their church with as many menorahs as they want; it's still a church. And while I support Israel, I would rather give Jerusalem to Scientologists so they can turn the Western Wall into a giant spaceship landing pad than ever, ever, ever call a lying, Evangelical cult Judaism.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

As a Christian, I applaud you standing up for your beliefs. I like the respect you show for Christianity while drawing a clear line in the sand when it comes to differing beliefs. I agree with you that nobody should push their religion on others. That's the last thing Jesus would do.

JDHURF said...

These people are truly ridiculous. I ran into these people once and it astounded me. I was working at Wal-Mart at the time and a couple came through my line wearing yarmulkes and other Orthodox paraphernalia, yet, for some reason, they seemed alien to these things and strangely self-conscious in a way an Orthodox Jew isn’t (being so accustomed, as they would be at this point in their life); not to mention how unordinary it was to see blondes with blue eyes wearing Orthodox clothing.

I mentioned their yarmulkes and they started talking about the oddest things: when the Sabbath is recognized, Seventh Day Adventism and, this is what really blew my mind, they were telling me that they were Jews who believed in Jesus (I don’t recall all of the specifics, but it was a bizarre conversation for sure). Turns out, they were former Seventh Day Adventists who decided to join whatever cult it was they joined, pretending to be Jewish, pretty much, as it sounded to me, because of when the Sabbath is recognized.

I hope that Jewish leaders don’t lend too much credence to these people simply because they beat the drums for an extreme form of Zionism (which in many forms manifests age-old religious Jew-hatred, supporting Israel in anticipation of the “soon to be coming” Christ; which will inevitably send most living Jews straight to hell, the Jesus-killers and deniers that they are in this acidic view). That would be a real shame.
I really don't see this group as conceivably being a threat to Judaism for, as you say, more Christians convert to Judaism every year than the other way around and, it seems to me, these people are just too ridiculous, comical, transient and fraudulent to be taken seriously by those they would want to appeal to.